Saturday, April 29, 2006

boy toy

I don't even like him. We had a physical fight and he didn't spare the dirty moves. I fucked him out of hate. And yet...I can't get over those images of him talking me into having sex with him. I ake all over. I have butterflies in my stomach and I'm perfectly conscient that I'm not in love with him. I was the challenge for him. He tried things. He got me.
He asked why am I marrying J and not even consider marrying him. I told him: you're 19, you can't even legally drink yet. He poisonously replied: Oh yeah, and what if J goes banckrupt and you'll end up paying for his shit?
He wanted me to reassure him. He wanted to be the only thing that mattered in my life, he wanted to mark his territory. He said: "I want to de-jade you".
We had sex quietly. Unexpectedly. After four hours of me saying NO. I was on top of him and there was no sound. just desire. He flipped me around and penetrated me again. I whispered in his ear: "Fuck me!". I could feel the tension building up to the orgasm. He came quietly on my stomach and didn't move for a while.
He held me through the night. Every time I changed position he came looking for me and held me as close as he could.

Monday, April 24, 2006

new sex toy

just bought a new sex toy last week. it's a nipple vibrator. I get home, get rid of my shopping pal, shut down the phone, close the curtains, put some batteries in my new toy doesn't work.
one week goes by without me using this toy. I return to the shop where I bought it and ask the teller to replace it for me. She opens up the toy and reverses one of the batteries and magically, the toy comes to life. I don't remember the last time I felt so stupid. I could read on her face: Ok, this is a blonde moment.

Sunday, April 23, 2006


I ran into Chris at a Hollywood party, after 5 years of not seeing him. He's British. an actor with many insecurities and even more ambitions. we went to dinner for old times sake.
He was just as charming as I remembered him. in the past, every time we saw each other, we fucked like crazy. He had a favorite position: he was standing up while holding my legs around him. I remember this one particular time, when, in an orgasmic race, he was just pulling me onto his cock as if I was weightless. he was standing up and with the stregth of his arms was making me move pretty fast. I never felt so small in a man's hands. awesome!
we lost touch. he went back to london. when we met the other night, the first thing he said was: I'm in a relationship. he was defensive, almost. maybe he invited me to dinner for closure. good kid.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

the interest

The only thing that ever truely interested me in life, is sex. Any other thing I've learned to be interested in so that I can have access to better sex and better sex partners.

Monday, April 17, 2006


my neighbor has a two year old daughter she leaves with me whenever she needs to run some quick errand.
I usually try to entertain the little one with cartoons, some kiddie games that I have in the house and candy. we get along.
the other day she walked into the bathroom and pulled a drawer where I keep some of my adult toys. she walked out happily holding a 7 inch dong and a vibrator. I almost fainted at her sight. I don't know what is most disturbing about this scene: the fact that a two year old could hold those things, the fact that I didn't think about hiding them better...I don't know.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

weirdest sex request

Today, lunch at a pizza place, in Hollywood. 6 of my friends were there. the topic of discussion was: weirdest sex requests. I don't know if I should be proud of this one, but my story won.
being a stripper I get many wacky proposals. I can't ever act upon them, but some of them are just too wild not to talk about.
this one guy once started a very good conversation, we talked about European politics, the way the European Union came together, the way the UN doesn't do what it was formed to do, then he says: I have this one fantasy. He walks to his bag, pulls out a crutch, hands it to me and then asks: did you ever do this before?
I must admit I was intrigued. He tied my right leg with a rope, to only show the thigh from a frontal point of view. I was balancing myself with the crutch he gave me. he then jerked off and came silently just by staring at my tied leg.
now, for all of you guys who think you might be weird: you're not. there's always someone crazier than you.

Sunday, April 09, 2006


every time I do more than one lap dance for the same guy, I start a conversation. the first question that I ask: Do you have a girl? Do you ever fantasize about cheating? Who would you cheat with?
So far, not one man answered: No, thank you. ALL married, and in a relationship guys are ready, pants down.
Now, ladies, since we know this fact, we should stop wondering: Does he ever cheat on me? we should start wondering: Who would he cheat on me with? and How can I be more like his fantasy?

Friday, April 07, 2006

long lost lover

have you ever been ashamed of some past affair? I have.
So, the other day I ran into D. Haven't seen him in the longest time. That's the good thing about living in LA: if you wanna be annonymous, you can.
D is a wonderful man. Great fuck. We even had some good times in the past, which I'm greatful for, don't get me wrong! But he is UGLY.
OK, I might be shallow, but the man is UGLY. He's so ugly, little kids will start crying when he walks down the street. Which brings me to my issue: I was ashamed of having slept with him.
One of D's friends approach us as we were talking and says Hi. He naturally comes to the question: "And how did you two meet?"
I rush to my answer, hopeful to shut D up: Common friends. D answers at the same time: We used to date. And here it was. Out in the open. People other than ourselves now know we had sex.
Shut up, D. Don't tell anyone. What's wrong with you? Don't want anyone to know I ever fucked you. You're ugly.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

morning sex

5.30am he puts his arm around me only to reach and squeeze my breast. I'm still asleep.
5.32am he caresses my butt. I'm still asleep.
5.35am he pokes me and says: baby, are you asleep?
5.40am he pokes me harder and I ask him: What time is it? he says: it's morning. I look at the clock, acknowledge the time and say: you're out of your mind, let me sleep. he says: but I'm horny...and I love you...
we had sex for two hours. the first half hour I was still asleep. the second half hour I was like: "OK, I see what you mean. take me home, daddy.". the third half hour I was thinking: "I did wake up at 5.30am for this. It better be worth it." the last half hour I told him: "Now focus. You've got to come or else. i got shit to do."
am I selfish?
two hours of morning sex is way too long.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

a woman

"of course I have a past. can't you see I'm an interesting person?"