Monday, November 06, 2006


Saturday night is my release-the-beast-night. I never liked people who party on weekends. They usually have a day job that ends in "ing" and the outmost risk they'll take is drink out of carton milk. Interesting people, on the other hand, party any time there's a good reason to party: like 10am on Monday in a grocery store's parking lot, because they just got a kiss from the woman they love.
So, I usually work on Saturday least make some money off of those parties I wouldn't be caught dead at if I was just a guest.
This past Saturday I did a bachelor/ bachelorette party. The woman who was hosting was a lady...of the worst kind: white pearl necklace (no pun intended), black outfit that underlined her delicate figure, a demeanor that reminded me of Bree Van de Kamp (for those who watch Desperate Housewives). She had a set of rules for me: no nudity, no touching the groom, focus on the bride. She paid me my fee, I got into my cop outfit and walked out into the party. everybody was sitting down in a circle, hands in sight.
The bachelorette was wearing a Catholic school girl outfit, boobs in sight. The groom looked like a handy man.
I reached for the bachelorette's boobs. she started giggling.
I got the groom down on his hands and knees and read him his rights together with the eulogy to his penis.
I spanked his ass raw, wrote on it with a black sharpie (for souvenir purposes) and laid him on his back. the bachelorette and I then simulated a lesbian act on top of him.
Nakedness followed (mine and bachelorette's). The first lap dance the bachelorette got, ended with her orgasming in my hand. in front of all of her friends and co workers. in front of the perfect lady with the pearl necklace.
Next lap dance was for the groom. even Phil from Accounting got a lap dance. and a hard on.
By the end on the party, the perfect hostess had a crisp smile on her face and everybody else was making out with everybody else. This one big girl with gigantic boobs kind of got me in a corner and threw some tongue action at me. Good times.
I love Saturday night's parties.