Brake point

"why didn't you tell me?" he asked.
"because I didn't know" I replied.
I didn't know that I loved him but wasn't in love with him. I didn't know that being familiar and bonding was part of a relationship we've already lived once.
He stared at me for a while. He's got piercing, accusatory eyes. Never blinks. Thin lips gathered into disapproval.
I know, I've got to be the bad guy this time. Mea Culpa.
our words turn into sand and I lay in the sun roasting my skin away while he's wearing SPF 60 tanning lotion under an umbrella.
Retracing a past, love, feelings and such is never fun. However, time loops on itself and it feels like you live the same experience again, wether you want to or not. that's when you start questioning all that you know about life, that's when you build up all of those safe insecurities that'll undermine any future relationship you'll eventually get into.
"I'm not in love with you" I said
"I knew that" he replied.
where's the relief? Friendship? should we continue talking? Should we just run away and pretend we never met?
relationships have an easy start. It's all a game for about a year or so...illusions. Sex helps you forget there's work involved. It all starts as if there's nothing to worry about in the world. Then, if you want to protect the emotional investment, you've got to talk and talk some more and find an agreement and understand and making an effort to understand and making an effort to make an effort. Then, all of a sudden, it's all complicated and you wonder: "How did we get here?"
Every person you ever meet, romantically or not, leaves and imprint into your life and you live an imprint into their life. If you bond in any way, you'll both have the responsibility of your actions/ feelings/ emotions.
"I'll stop by on Wednesday?' he said
"We'll go to dinner, there's a new sushi place in K-town" I replied.